I need to be sick again.
I cannot handle my life without it. Everything feels better when you’re obsessed with food. I was in control. I was powerful, like Cassie says.
But you have to stop before you die…
I haven’t purged in over a month now. I feel like shit. I want to b/p now.
And cut… And I don’t want to even talk to my boyfriend about it. I want him to go away so I won’t hurt him too. But I can’t hurt him so I can’t hurt me.
Boyfriend caught me purging. Past month has been spent trying not to disappoint him. Now that he’s comfortable with the fact that I haven’t purged… he’s telling me to lose weight.
So I guess I’ll try to do this the right way.